In Part 4 of The Art of Making The Deal, I discuss the importance of transparency and how it can help you close more deals.
- Why being transparent is one of the strongest things you can do in business.
- What you can do to improve your transparency – hint: it’s naming your mouse, aka feelings.
- How transparency builds trust.
Transparency is strength.
– David Wood
NEXT… Part 5: Making Your List & Dreaming Big. Click here to view.
To learn more about Corey Kupfer from Deal Quest, click here.
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– TRANSCRIPT –
[00:00:00] David Wood: The next principle I want to talk about is transparency. And that’s what mouse in the room is about this book. If you’re watching the video, you can see the cover here and we call it mouse in the room because the elephant is not alone, you know, but you know about the elephant. I know about the elephant.
No, one’s saying anything. That’s an elephant in the room, but the mouse in the room is any feeling you’re having any thought you’re having or any body sensation. Um, that has not been named that’s that’s a mouse and it could be quite subtle and I’ll give any. And when we start artfully naming these mice, and I say, artfully, cause you do it the wrong way.
You can cause trouble. The other person gets to know the real you, and this moment not, this is what I loved when I was a kid or I love ice cream. No, in this moment, this is what’s happening for me right now. That’s unusual. Most of us don’t relate in present moment awareness. So naming mice is a way to do that.
Hey, I notice as I’m with you, this is what I’m feeling. I’m feeling some excitement I noticed as I hear your story, I feel some sadness and some concern. So we start to be relational. And an example that came to mind is when I was once sitting with. Canfield at a luncheon. And even that took something like, how do you sit next to Jack when they’re 150 people wanting to sit next to Jack?
Well, this was accidental, but it’s a great tip. If you ever want to use it listeners, I was chatting with him and they called us. And I had to go to the bathroom and I wanted to follow up with Jack and sit, sit next to him. And I just said, as I went, look, I got to go to the bathroom. Would you save me a seat?
Come on. So then when I got back, he’d had to turn 10 people away from the seat next to him. Cause he was saving it for me. So now I’m sitting with Jack and we’re talking about. I screwed up some courage. And I said, look, I wonder if you would consider writing the foreword to my book, but here’s where the transparent pot came in.
I felt a little off about it because I’d also was pitching Richard Branson. And if Richard said, yes, I was going to go with him. So I said, I screwed up my courage and I named a mouse. I said, Jack, and I just want to be transparent. I have asked Richard Branson. And if he says. I’ll go with him. And I know this is a big, bold request.
Would you be willing to be my backup if he says no and classy, Jackie said, well, I see you’re going alphabetically. And that makes sense.
Uh, it just, it was amazing, but then that was out in the open and I didn’t have to hide anything. And I believe to this day, That the fact that this is how I try and show up in every relationship, particularly when I might lose something is what has so many people say, I trust this guy. You can trust this guy.
You should have him on your podcast. Um, I’ve had women in my community ask a friend if I go to a date at this house, can I trust this guy? And my community is going to say. Yes, absolutely. And I think it’s because I’ll tell the truth, especially if I’m going to lose something. So don’t just go and bleed over everybody and be like, you know, you’re not going to go to the boardroom and say, We’re running off a cliff, I’m freaking out, we’ve got no solutions and I don’t know what to do.
No, you’re not going to do that. But you might work with your coach and then go to the boardroom and say, look, some of you might be scared in this comment, current climate. I don’t blame you sometimes I am too, but we are working on solutions and together we will find our way. Like there are ways. Yeah,
[00:04:02] Corey Kupfer: and there, and I think, you know, it’s been interesting to me to see.
I mean, if you look back in, you know, in business, certainly in corporate, traditionally, it was the exact opposite. Right. You know, you didn’t bring your whole self to work. You certainly didn’t show you emotions. You didn’t show weakness. Like all these, all these things that, you know, I think it used to be part of corporate culture and still unfortunately are in some places.
But I, I think, uh, the move towards transparency and authenticity, uh, the ability, you know, and it’s, I think it’s actually one of the advantages of social media, even though there was so many negatives, like people, people sniff out like, and the younger generations just don’t tolerate in authenticity anymore.
Whether it’s in advertising, whether it’s in, you know, management systems and whatever. And I think that’s, you know, that’s a good. And, um, and, and I, you know, my guess is when you coach people around this, that there is some folks that, you know, that might seem exciting to you, but there are many who would probably, you know, have a lot of resistance around this one.
It’s, you know, it’s, it’s a tough one to, because we’ve been so conditioned, you know,
[00:05:06] David Wood: opposite. Yeah. And I grew up as an Australian male in a country town. So I didn’t learn transparency. I didn’t know it was a thing you could do it wasn’t until I got to landmark and I saw this leader on stage and on the third day he said, I’m terrified of people and I’m terrified of speaking to groups
[00:05:29] Corey Kupfer: and he’s, and he’s in front of a hundred, whatever people he’s doing it for a living.
[00:05:35] David Wood: Right. And part of me was admiring. Wow. Look what you’re doing for living of service. So I really felt closer to him. Another part of me was saying, you can say that, I didn’t know. You could say that I had a friend come up to me once and say, oh my God, I’ve just realized something I’m needy, but he wasn’t saying it like there was a problem.
He said, I’m needy right now. I’m needing. And that’s okay. I didn’t know. You could say that. So it started a, a life journey for me of how much can you say? And you’d be surprised. Read the book, listeners mouse in the room.com. You’ll be surprised how you can artfully say things. I’ve said things that could have sent me to prison.
Literally, you know, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve broken the law in the past. Uh, when I was. I committed a crime. And then later in life I was horrified and, uh, I tracked down the person and confessed and said, look, I just want you to know that was me. And I’m really sorry. And how can I make it right. Could have gone to prison.
But that conversation changed my life because I realized, you know, the person said, look, it really wasn’t any big deal. We’re fine. We’re good. Oh, my God. So transparency is a doorway yes. To making deals, but it’s a doorway to a confident, um, fulfilling and influential life. I want to give it another example of transparency.
And this is from Alex Mandossian. Who’s a genius marketer. And I know this podcast isn’t specifically about making sales and sales are our deal. I went to speak to 1200 people. And then at the end you get to make a pitch, right? So I wanted to make a deal with 1200 people. And what Alex said is don’t hide the facts.
Don’t hide what you want, tell them upfront. And this is an example of naming a mouse. So I, I set up front, I want to do everything in my power to monitor. Persuade and influence you to continue your training with me. I think I can really help you. And so the best way I can think of to do that is to give you the best content I can in 60 minutes and show you what’s possible.
And then you’ll decide if you want to work with me. Does that sound fair? And they all went. Yeah. Now I had permission to sell to them and to pitch. Now this works in. You could say to someone, you know, I’m realizing I’d really like to date you I’d really like to take you out and ask you out. Would that be okay?
You’re being, you’re being transparent about what it is you want, you could call someone, I got this from Steve Sims. Who’s brilliant at the out of, uh, you know, getting someone to say yes to something he said will often lead with upfront. I want to tell you I have enough. Alright being transparent. I have an ask, but first, and then he gets into what he thinks he might be able to offer.
Cause if you, if you don’t say that people know you’re probably going to come up with something, you’re probably looking for something, let’s put it on the table. I would like to make a deal with you. That’s my goal. At the end of this, that we can create a deal. That’s a win for both of us. Is that okay? Is that on the table?
Can we talk about that.