The truth is, it’s not always easy to go up against our fears. But if you want a better life with more courage and less fear then try this: 30% will do the trick!
What’s one step I could take towards my fear, so fear isn’t running the show?
– David Wood
- How to have better relationships and a better life.
- Why the ‘hard’ conversations can lead you to massive opportunities and impact.
- What is fear really telling you?
- How to find and ride your edge in your relationships.
- What if you were 30% more courageous for the next 30 days?
If no one’s mad at you, you’re not truly living.
– David Wood
To learn more about Tony and listen to the full episode, go to https://legacyinthemakingshow.com/episodes/
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– TRANSCRIPT –
[00:00:00] David Wood: I’m just such a fan of courage and overcoming fear. And one reason is because it’s important for results. If we want to make more money, we want more time off. We want better relationships. We want a better life. We need to find out courage. And the other reason is I want everybody that when that time finally comes and we’re on our death bed.
[00:00:26] David Wood: And we’re looking back over our life. I want us to be able to say I gave it all. I gave it everything. I didn’t play small. I didn’t let fear run, run me. I didn’t take stupid risks. Like, like driving without a seatbelt. That’s just stupid. There’s no profit in it. Or riding a motorbike without a helmet. I wasn’t stupid, but I didn’t.
[00:00:49] David Wood: Risks. I risked looking silly. I risked hearing no, I never let that stop me. That I want people to have that sensation that they fully gave, gave up.
[00:01:02] Tony Maree Torrey: I love that. And I think that it is so important and I’ve definitely been through my own journey when it comes to courage. And I think a lot of, a lot of what we need to do is address our childhood wounds and step into whatever fear they’ve generated, because oftentimes that really is where our calling is.
[00:01:24] Tony Maree Torrey: They’re actually hints and Wayfair. So for instance, in my history, because you know, you probably know this growing up in Australia, it’s a little, it was a little Wilder and less politically correct than I think it has been here in the U S. And so for me, I had a teacher who taped my mouth shot with sticky tape.
[00:01:45] Tony Maree Torrey: Twice and sat me in front of the classroom for an hour or so with my mouth taped shut. And so for me, one of my growing edges somewhere where I really have to muster up a lot of courage is to. Speak to be seen and heard to do things like go out and give public speeches to do things like have this podcast where I’m seen and heard, because there’s still part of me where there’s that little girl that’s going warning.
[00:02:17] Tony Maree Torrey: Will Robinson warning this. Isn’t a safe thing to do. What’s an example out of your life, David, where you’ve really had to muster some courage.
[00:02:27] David Wood: When I did the landmark forum and then the subsequent courses, they were really big on completing it past. So finding out where you’ve got charged with someone, someone you resent, someone you hate, maybe even someone you felt guilty that you did something to them, kind of like 12 step programs. I would imagine they’re like go and confront that stuff.
[00:02:50] David Wood: And I said, hell no. I had to make a list of everybody from my past that, that I didn’t like or resented or hated. And, and one of them was a bully from high school and we used to be friends and then he kind of pushed me around a bit and would one up me in class. And I just always lost in that interaction and felt humiliated.
[00:03:16] David Wood: And the coach said, all right, call him. I’m like, no. Oh, I’m not, are you kidding me? And she said, why? And I said, I I’m worried. He’s going to think I’m a complete idiot for calling him 20 years later. And the fact I’ve been holding onto this and whatever. And she said, then lead with that. And that gave me access to calling him.
[00:03:41] David Wood: I’m like, I could do that because that was true. And I called him and I said, I’m so worried. You’re going to think I’m a complete idiot for calling you after all this time. And that really worked. He was very open. He said, oh, well, tell me, what do you got, what’s going on? So I told him, I just shared my experience and I said, look, I’m letting it go.
[00:04:05] David Wood: And I just wanted to let you know, I don’t need anything from you. And he said, The most amazing thing. And this is a guy I had hated for years. He said, what could I say or do now to help us move forward? And it was transformational for me to, cause I, in my matrix of thinking this guy was. And now it’s like, wow, he’s a, he’s like a caring human being.
[00:04:35] David Wood: So there there’s one example of some, and, and that was one of the harder conversations I’ve ever had to have. I’ve had harder ones. Some, some I speak about publicly. Some I don’t, I keep private, but, but really terrifying relationships. One that could have sent me to. For something, something I’d done. Even though I was a minor at the time, mine is, can still be prosecuted sometimes.
[00:04:58] David Wood: So I like, I went and confessed to someone. I said, I’m sorry, how can I make this? Right. I could have been prosecuted. So. I’ve really faced some scary ones. Now, people listening, I’m not saying you should go this far. I didn’t do this overnight. It took me a long time. It took me a lot of coaching to get to the point.
[00:05:18] David Wood: And I’ve realized, you know, there are still some things that I may not be willing to do because there may not be enough upside in it, but I’m here to encourage you to. Have more of those conversations because I think nine times out of 10, there will be some profit in it. And I maybe financial profit, but growth, profit.
[00:05:41] David Wood: There’ll be something for you, even if it doesn’t go well, the first time you might have round to the next week, Hey, can I have another shot at that? I don’t think I’d had a good job. So I, I think this came from the fact that I did let fear run me as a kid. And I didn’t stand up to the bullies and I didn’t ask out the women that I wanted to ask out and I felt small and I’ve regretted the things I didn’t do.
[00:06:08] David Wood: So now when, when there’s fear and I’m like, oh, I’m scared of that. I try and look for a way. What’s a way that I can at least take a step towards it. So that fear isn’t running the show. And I want that for everybody.
[00:06:22] Tony Maree Torrey: I love that. And I, especially like your hint there really, this is like, if anyone takes something away from this compensation, that piece about, okay, you’re going to have a conversation with someone and you’re worried about it.
[00:06:37] Tony Maree Torrey: What it is that they might think opening with what you anticipate. They will think that is a really great hint for how to go about initiating one of those conversations. And then the other thing that inspired me about what you were saying there too, it reminded me of a quote that I used to have up on my wall.
[00:06:58] Tony Maree Torrey: I don’t need to have it on my wall anymore because it’s so ingrained. Yeah. That regret for the things you did can be tempered by time. It’s regret for the things you did not do. That’s inconsolable.
[00:07:12] David Wood: Yeah. That’s, that’s true. Yeah, there are some things I wish I could take back that I’ve done, but I think there’s a much higher list of, oh, what if I, what if I at least tried?
[00:07:23] David Wood: What if I at least asked and in a business sense? Is there a celebrity that you’d like to ask to endorse your product or a celebrity that you’d like on your podcast or are there, you know, it must be at least 10 people you can think of who might make great customers or clients that you could call up and ask.
[00:07:45] David Wood: There’s so many different ways we can find our edge and ride our edge in our relationship. Are there some confessions you could make and take a risk for the chance of getting closer to that person? Is there a reveal you could make about yourself? So, you know, it’s something that you don’t, I I’m on a dating app right now.
[00:08:04] David Wood: And what I offer on the dating app is I say, Hey, if you reach out, I’ll, I’ll give you a profound question. And so some times women, right. And they’re like, I want my question. I want my profound question. And so just yesterday I wrote back to someone, I said, okay, what don’t you want me to know about you?
[00:08:23] Tony Maree Torrey: Ooh, that’s getting juicy right there.
[00:08:26] David Wood: Yeah. It was great. And no, that’ll sometimes send people running or it’ll bring people closer and yeah. That about how deeply competitive she is and how embarrassed she is, and she’s trying to work on it, but, but that’s that’s a part where she has some shame.
[00:08:43] David Wood: I’m like, thank you. I, I like knowing that about you. So it’s so many different ways we can find our edge, find that courage. And again, I’m like, look, here’s an exercise that I highly recommend. You have a piece of paper and a pen and write up the top. What would I do if I was feeling. And you can have, maybe on one side of the page, you write everything in your business, what you would do if you were fearless and then the other side could be in your relationships.
[00:09:13] David Wood: What would I do if I was fearless and you don’t have, don’t go and do it all overnight, but you might want to circle a few things. I like to say. What if you were just 30% more courageous for the next 30 days, try it on and see what that’s like. Hey, you’ll stumble. You’ll, you know, you’ll skin your knee from time to time.
[00:09:37] David Wood: You might get some people mad at you. But as I say, if you’ve got no one who’s mad at you, then you’re not truly living.
