I’m going to show you a really simple way to communicate effectively in any situation with the help of the 3D process.
Listen in as I reveal:
- How to become aware of how you’re feeling.
- How to use the 3D Process to work out what you feel and what you want.
- Why you don’t need to name ALL of your mice.
- How to talk about your mice.
Discover. Decide. Disarm. Are you using the 3D Process to name your mice?
– David Wood
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🐭 How to Authentically Transform Your Life. Check out my book, Mouse in The Room at www.mouseintheroom.com 🐭
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– TRANSCRIPT –
[00:00:00] David Wood: And first, I think I wanna sell the sizzle a little bit about why it matters, because I think one of the reasons we don’t share our mice more freely is we don’t know what they are. So we don’t have the awareness. We, we just know, I don’t like that. I once had a podcast host, um, not show up and I had offered him a coaching session as a gift.
and he didn’t show. And I, I oriented my day around it and I wrote to him, said what happened? He said, oh my bad. Um, sorry about that. I’ve re used your booking link to rebook for the ne following week. I did not like that. I didn’t know why. I just knew I don’t wanna have this session with him. So, and I’ll use that as an example in the 3d process, the first thing.
We don’t even know what’s happening. I just don’t wanna do the session with him. So the simple thing we’ll just jump to, I’m just gonna tell him I don’t have time. Right. How common would that be? I just tell him, I don’t have time close him off. Probably not talk to him again. Um, so one reason is we are not aware of what’s happening.
So we, we can’t communicate it. The second reason is we don’t have the 3d process. So if we just go and say, Hey, I’m, I’m feeling annoyed that you, that you didn’t show up. And I’m feeling annoyed that you booked without asking me. And just assuming that I’m gonna do it, that may not go very well. So this 3d process is the answer to both of those problems.
It will help. Find what your mice are. It will help you decide if it should be named cuz not all mice should be named 10 times more than you’re naming right now should be named, but not all of them will help you decide. And then how to say it in a way that the person’s gonna receive it. So here are the three DS first D discover go through the worksheet, work out what you’re feeling.
What you’re wanting. If you have a request, it’ll help you get clear on that second D decide, how important is this relationship? What’s the upside of, of naming these mice? What could happen? What, what good thing could come of it? That’s so important. The mind will tell you all the bad things which you’ll also do in the worksheet.
Well, the worst thing the person could get offended. They could yell at me. I might feel awkward. Uh, I, I could get fired. My partner might leave me or gimme the cold shoulder for a while. You just get really up close and personal about what’s the upside, what’s the downside. Then you can weigh them up and say, you know what?
I’m willing to accept those consequences, or I’m not, I’m not willing. I’m not gonna name a mouse. I am willing because I can see the. And I want practice in being me. I wanna be seen and known. So you, you let’s suppose you decide you’re gonna do it. The third step disarm or in American disarm disarm the person so that they, so that they , I need to practice my accent for, for acting class, but it’s a little weird to just switch between US and Australian.
So disarm the person, uh, which involves, and I’ll, I’ll give a preview of a couple of things getting consent. Don’t just dump it on them. Hey, can I talk about X? And here’s why I’d like to talk about it. And here’s why I was hesitant. To, to bring it up. That’s often gonna show some vulnerability.
It’s gonna show your positive intent and, and the person gets to say yes or no. And if they say, yeah, I got, I got 10 minutes, shoot. They’re in a much better frame of mind. Then if you just came in and just started launching into. Whatever’s going on and we’ll get, we’ll coach you in the, in the book about having ownership language.
So you’re just talking about your world and your experience and not making declarations about what they did and what they think and how the universe is that’s arguable. But if you talk about your experience, that’s inarguable. So there’s lots of ninja tips, but you’ve got the bones of the 3d process to naming a mouse dis discover, decide.
Disarm and the worksheet will make it way easier, cuz it’s like a paint by numbers. You fill it in and then you can even have that with you. I I’m serious. You can have that worksheet with you when you go and name the mouse, you can say, I really wanted to, uh, be as clear as possible. So I wrote down some notes about it.
And if you see me looking down this I’m, I’m trying to keep track of it cuz it’s not, it’s not all clear in my head. You can, you can do that. The person say, oh. All right, this is a bit edgy for you. What, what do you got.
