When do you know you’re too attached to the outcome? We’ve all experienced it in our lives at some point. I did the other day… playing ping pong!
- Attachment only works when you get what you want.
- When attachment becomes a problem.
- Why commitment is a place to stand in your power.
- Why observing the attachment gives you a sense of peace.
Are you too attached to an outcome?
– David Wood
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– TRANSCRIPT –
[00:00:00] David Wood: I love this. I was, I was just playing ping pong yesterday with a buddy. And in the fourth game I got pissy. I got annoyed. I ended up, ended up slamming the ball off the on side in a real moment of Anga. And at the end of that game, I said to him, I got attached. That was what attachment looked like. I was attached to.
In my mind I had to, when I tried really hard and I couldn’t do it, everything was going wrong. And I just had a six year old tantrum. So that’s attachment. And he said his name was guy Gury. He said, attachment only works when you get what.
And I thought that was genius. Yeah. If you get what you want, no problem being attached to it, but when you don’t get what you want, that’s where attachment becomes a problem. Now, in, in this, I mentioned that I did a personal growth course way back when I was 26, 27 years old in that course called the landmark forum.
They. Teach the distinction, commitment versus attachment, and people tend to collapse these. So when I’m pitching this celebrity being on my podcast, what attachment would look like is getting annoyed and frustrated and angry when I’m not getting the result that I want. What some people do is they just collapse and they go, well, I’m just going to stop trying, because I just can’t hear it.
No, one more time. Now you’re attached. So you just collapse. Now there’s another space to stand, which is commitment. And the commitment is a place to stand where I am going to show up on a puddle unapologetically, and maybe even joyfully moving in the direction of something that matters. You can do whatever you want.
I am committed that you be on my podcast and I’m going to do everything in my power to make that happen. You do whatever you want. This is how I’m going to show up. And you should expect that from me. If you’re expecting something else from me, you might be disappointed because I’m going to keep showing up like that.
I had a friend who was suicidal and he didn’t want me to share certain things with his family. And I said, you got another thing coming. I’m going to do everything I can in my power to keep you here on the planet. And that involves sharing anything and everything you’ve said with anyone in the world that I think can help you.
That’s what I’m going to do. So now you know who I am and what you can count on me for, you got a problem with that. You can talk, we can talk about it now, but that’s who I am. That was me being committed to a certain, uh, Plan of action and a certain outcome. Now, did I get attached as well? Yep. I tell you what I lost some sleep because I noticed I was really scared that he might kill himself at any moment.
So I noticed I also was attached, but the noticing of it allowed me to chill a little bit and it was actually a revelation because I wrote to him and I. I’ve just realized I cannot keep you on the planet. I don’t have the power. I can show up committed like Martin Luther king freeing the slaves. Right.
That’s what I think of. Like, I can show up like that, but I cannot make it happen. And that gave me a little bit of peace. I think some of my attachment dropped a little bit. I said, I cannot keep you around that. Bit’s going to be up up to you, but I can control my actions. And I think that’s more where commitment.